So, bikini season is here. I have been eating far too much cake and doing far too little cardio and, overall, I feel a bit more ‘sumo wrestler’ than ‘sexy’. With a newfound motivation to eat my vegetables and hit the gym, I wanted to do something to kick-start my new lifestyle change and cleanse my system. With the magic of the internet, I stumbled across colonic hydrotherapy.
What is colonic hydrotherapy? (Hint: Not for the faint of heart!)
Colonic hydrotherapy is a type of enema. Clean water is injected into the rectum to help dispel waste products. Essentially, you have a small tube inserted in your backside by a complete stranger and then warm, clean water flows in and out to help remove all the poop and rubbish that is still in there. Why on earth did I sign up for this, you ask?
Well, it claims a whole host of things, such as removing toxins, helping conditions like bloating, fatigue and clearing up skin problems like acne. Now, I am a sceptical person; I believe in good, old fashioned exercise and a healthy, balanced diet. However, intrigued by all the wonderful claims surrounding colonic hydrotherapy, I bit the bullet and booked an appointment. And here I am now, reporting back to you on my experience…
So, what actually happened?
I arrived at a very clean, cosy clinic and was greeted by a very friendly hydrotherapist who went through my medical forms with me and talked me through the procedure. The high level of professionalism was comforting (as was the free peppermint tea – bonus!). I felt relaxed and at ease.
The hydrotherapist then told me she was going to leave the treatment room so I could take off all of my clothes from the waist down, then lay on the treatment couch and cover myself with the blanket provided and let her know when I was ready. I really started to question my life choices, though, when she re-entered the room and started to lube up the tube that was about to be inserted in my rear end. RIP to my dignity.
Did it hurt?
It was not a painful procedure – in fact, the most uncomfortable part was just having the tube inserted in the beginning, but it wasn’t really what I’d call a relaxing treatment. The water flushing in and out did not hurt at all but, at some points of the procedure, it does feel like you have a bit of an upset stomach. What surprised me was how long the procedure takes – my appointment started at 12 and I left at half past 1! Be reassured that you are REALLY having your system cleansed out. You can see what is going down the tube through the viewing mirror, if you’re not too squeamish. If you are, though, you should stay away from colonic hydrotherapy as it’s probably not for you.
And what about the results – honestly, was it worth it?
After the procedure was over, I felt very light and refreshed. I didn’t feel so bloated and I felt motivated to be really careful with what I choose to eat and drink – I now understood how important it is to make sure you have a healthy digestive system, and how what we put into our bodies affects the way our bodies try to get them out. Basically, a rubbish diet full of processed foods is tough on our body and can result in fatigue, bloating, irregular toilet trips and an overall bad mood, but I left the appointment feeling quite energetic and happy! Contrary to what you might think about colonic hydrotherapy, there were no bad smells during the procedure; they use a closed system, meaning that everything is kept safely within the tube and there is no mess involved! I weighed myself after and saw that I had lost about one pound, so if your main interest in colonic hydrotherapy is for weight loss purposes, do not expect it to make you lose ten pounds at a time! However, it is a good motivator to start a healthier lifestyle and kick-start better digestive health.
In short, then, colonic hydrotherapy is definitely worth it if you’re up for a lot of poo talk and having a tube up your butt for an hour and a half… but I believe the effects are more mental than they are physical as it really does put you in a good place to begin a new, healthy lifestyle. Call me crazy, but I may even go back to get another treatment!
Images via Champneys